Aug 19/20: Loss

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Lessons in the Key of Today for the Weekend of August 19/20th:


“But laugh?” He pressed the flat of his hand against my stomach. “Here lives laugh.” He ran his finger straight up to my mouth and spread his fingers. “Push back laugh is not good. Not healthy.”

“Also cry?” I asked. I traced an imaginary tear down my cheek with one finger.

“Also cry.” He put his hand on his own belly. “Ha ha ha,” he said, pressing his hand to show me the motion of his stomach. Then his expression changed to sad. “Huh huh huh,” he heaved with exaggerated sobs, pressing his stomach again. “Same place. Not healthy to push down.”

― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man’s Fear

Remember how the grownups in your life used to say ‘Oh well, there’s no use crying over spilled milk?’ The weekend holds a departure or a release that will ultimately offer a silver lining, but may require some attending to, or cleaning up.

I wonder… when the adult you trusted offered that advice, what types of life events were they referring to at the time?

When the wise adult told us to let go, they were really trying to say there was more delicious creamy milk where that glass came from and there isn’t any value in sobbing over this particular glass of milk. Unfortunately, this phrase could have been used to keep you from experiencing some important emotions and like a dutiful child you wiped your tears, put on a brave face and persevered. “Big boys/girls don’t cry” is another one of those pithy statements that was offered as a way to supposedly feel better, but ended up resulting in the stuffing down of the important emotions that were surfacing. In the end, these words of advice were harmful and functioned as a suppressant.

This might come up for you this weekend. I compassionately invite you to feel whatever comes up and don’t try to stuff or suppress it. But I also want to add that letting go and allowing something better to replace whatever you lost is also part of this particular equation. Feel it, then let it go. This is the difference between repression and release. No matter how powerful the emotions are within you, the grownup within you is strong enough to comfort that hurting child that resides within you, too. Endings and beginnings are part of life, and they must be honored and acknowledged and felt.

I would like to offer up the suggestion that whatever loss or release you are experiencing, it is ultimately going to allow you to shine brighter. Bless whatever has dimmed your light and kept you hidden in the shadows. Thank it for its presence in your life and value its contribution to your experience. Honor it fully and release it fully.

Unexpected events or epiphanies or major shifts can occur over the next few days. Once again, I stress, there is nothing to fear. Perhaps there is something to grieve, but the outcome is positive, in the larger broader picture. Take the time you need to cleanse and allow the sorrow or the regret to work its way through you and heal.

Then again, sometimes an ‘Oh well’ is just the thing you need to say in order to move on. Because that was then, and this is now.

Whichever way it goes for you in particular, whatever way you experience the energy this weekend, keep in mind that power can and should be used for good. Empowering the light, rather than the darkness, is a constructive goal that offers hope in the midst of any confusion, crumbling, chaos, loss or delay.

Today’s triad:  Honor your feelings. There is nothing to fear. Use power for good.


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